Repent, or the demons will get you.

Two weeks ago, I was under an attack. The first day (tuesday), I didn't know what it was, just that I was extremely afraid of everything in the dark, I kept seeing the big red ugly beast in my room, behind me...etc... after watching the Village in my Cultural Imperialism class. I couldn't sleep, except after a few hours of reading God's Word and falling asleep with my Bible open over my heart.

The second night, this red, clawed being was jumping at me, lingering behind my back, making me dreadfully afraid and and fearful. I tried distracting myself, telling my head it was only my imagination, that it wasn't real, I was just imagining it (similar to what the girl tells herself in the movie.) A few more hours in the Bible, and exhaustion set in with the bible open on my heart again.

The third day, I was exhausted and fell asleep at 5pm, waking up fully rested at midnight, with a long way to go till morning. By this time, I had realized this was more than just my imagination, it was something attacking me, striking terror and fear into every pore. The red beast laid down in the bed with me, chased me, hovered in my face. I cannot tell you the exhuastion, fear, and anxiety that had drained me the past two nights. I continued in the Word, reading it aloud so that the demon could hear clearly, and watching John Piper videos on Youtube by my bed. I finally was able to relax and slept some at 6am till it got light outside and it was all over.

Or at least, so I thought. It continued to surface, briefly showing its face until last night.

Last I began talking with Leola, my roomate/sister, and Quan, her friend who is so, so strong in faith and in that strength knows that demons have no place around God's people, and she just strengthened and encouraged me so much. She kept saying I needed to kill my flesh, kill my flesh, and quit being scared of this demonic force, because it is tormenting me because I was afraid of it, and I was not standing up to it. I went into my bathroom later, and felt him creep up, full of heinous evil, and in my spirit, as well as aloud, I just stood firm and said, "No." and then I kept saying, "no, no...NO." and just kept on and on with that response to every whisper in my ear, every dreadful word he uttered.

At this point it was about 3am, and I called my mom and dad, asking for help, explaining my situation as best I could. And by the power of the Holy Spirit and by the prayer of my mom and dad, with the confession of sins, and through some howling, screeching and intense terror and fear of these horrid vile creatures surrounding me, I began to tremble and shake, and I screamed at how afraid I was, to my parents listening over the phone, never having been more frightened, and terrified in all of my life. I was shaking and crying violently for a few petrified moments.... and then started to calm down. After it was all over, I was so weak and trembling all over and I couldn't let my parents off the phone for a while. I listened to some sermons, read the Word, and eventually calmed down enough to drift off to sleep. This morning, mom called to check on me again, and I feel very at peace about everything now.

What does it all mean? I don't fully know yet. But Quan labeled it, "a demon of fornication"... and I think she is right. My parents said it may be because I had a wall fall down in my city, and it is allowing things to come in that shouldn't be there. The stronghold he had there was my rebellion to my father's rules, as well as shaking my fist in God's face, and disobeying him openly, unabashedly and unashamedly. Against God alone, have I sinned. So, the wall fell, and this demon had an inroad. Other than that, I don't know anything about what has happened to me...only that I don't want to be in that place, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth. I know that now more than ever before. Mom said, "Just stay in Jesus and don't come out," and that way I won't have to ever be in that place again. I don't EVER want to be around that again. Never, never, I don't care what I must do. Please save me, Lord Jesus. Save me from death, and that tortureous place of living hell.